Day 1 of blogging and day 1 of the break-up. So, it's not confirmed yet. The break-up that is. But, having been in this place so many times before I know exactly what it is. It is a feeling of hurt, self-pity, desperation, and loneliness. I want to embrace those feelings and not let them get the best of me this go-around. Time to get off of that seemingly never ending roller coaster and get my life back!
This blog will be my savior! Like I said, having been here before ( a mental place of self-pity and desperation), I feel like being able to express my feeling and thoughts in a visual way will prevent me from making the same mistakes in the future. And also keep me sane!
The break-up....well, it's been a long time coming. Without expressing the exact details of how I have gotten to this point today. I have to say that I feel a little bit of freedom but at the same time, a new weight now lies on my shoulders. The old weight had a name and it was Mark. This new weight, well, it's name is Fear. I let the old weight control me, I let it into every crevace of my being and submitted my entire life to it. This new weight however, Will not control me and break my spirit on a daily bases!
The journey begins today! I will be blogging about past experiences in this relationship, as negative as they may be, I have to see it for myself and then do something with those feelings. Those feelings are all deep within and if I don't do something with them now I know that they will either 1. DRIVE ME CRAZY! or 2. Carry with me into future relationships. I'd prefer to let it all go right now but I know that it is a process.
With this blog and a lot of prayer, I hope to be able to embrace the power of me and have an awakening of consciousness that will make me a BETTER ME!
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